I'm familiar with limiting beliefs. In fact, I have a whole lot of them! It feels like I'm constantly busy uncovering limiting beliefs, exploring what lies hidden behind them, and transforming them into empowering statements. Because that's something no one can do for me. If they don't come from me and from within me, they're just "clever advice." Especially now with my motto for this year, "Through the roof", I bumped into the ceiling and had to get rid of it first. I also work with my clients on their limiting beliefs again and again. And believe it or not: their reputation is worse than they actually are. Because they do serve a purpose and can help us to develop further. In this article, I will share 6 facts about limiting beliefs and show you some of mine.

They are hiding skillfully.

It's not as if beliefs come out of nowhere just to make our lives difficult. No, they've always been there, many of them we've carried around with us since childhood, but they hide cleverly. And when do they come out? Of course, at the most inconvenient moment, as happened to me this year. My motto this year is "explode." I want to move forward with my business and have set myself very high goals. And I love challenges, I enjoy discovering new possibilities. But... with every step I take closer to fulfilling my heart's desires, my wishes, and my goals, the more limiting beliefs emerge. Is this unusual? No, not at all. Because beliefs represent the truth we've lived up to now. And now, as we evolve, we get to say goodbye to some that simply no longer fit our inner growth.

2. They always show up at the most inconvenient moment.

Specifically, exactly when we are developing further, stepping out of our comfort zone, and absolutely don't need a small voice to emerge and try to stop us. But they emerge for a valid reason. Because it's not that beliefs don't serve a purpose for us. They help us to reduce our reality and perceive it more easily through a filter. They support us in making decisions. They are the essence of learning experiences we have had throughout our lives. Especially those in which we did not feel so comfortable. They are tasked with protecting us from re-experiencing a similarly bad experience. And they also show us what is important to us. But even though they have served us well in certain contexts, that doesn't mean these limiting beliefs must be true for all situations and for all eternity. 

3. Beliefs are treasure chests, if we look closely.

Most of the time, they tell us something about our important needs. We can perceive them, perhaps write them down, and see what's inside. For example, the need for security and protection in a specific situation that we've experienced before and don't want to experience again. At the same time, however, it can also be something that has shaped us socially. This means, for instance, beliefs that it's not good to earn money because we've only met unkind people with a lot of money so far. Or that we're not allowed to be happy about success if not everyone else in the world is doing well too. Or even that, as women*, we have internalized the role of "the caregiver" and as men*, the role of "the tough guy" as a general standard.

I would like to show you a few limiting beliefs of mine for illustration, which I recently identified and have been working with:

• I don't deserve to be successful
• I need to consider the feelings of others first.
• When I come out, I make others feel bad.
• I and everything I do must please everyone.

Phew. When I read these sentences now, I immediately feel very small. And I can no longer understand how I could live with them for so long without ever realizing it.

4. You have a protective function

I've taken a closer look at these limiting beliefs and asked myself what function they have served for me. I wanted to know what needs were behind them and how they originated. So, I approached them with curiosity, just as I would approach people I don't know and want to get to know. In doing so, I discovered that I had various experiences in my youth and childhood that laid the foundation for these beliefs.

Perhaps the belief "I don't deserve to be successful." Here I was convinced that I had to do everything perfectly in order to deserve success. I was convinced that I could only be a successful person if I was flawless. And there was another trap I had set for myself. Who decides in school and university when something is flawless? Exactly. Others. That is, I was waiting for someone else to give me permission. The absolution that I am allowed to be successful. Well, I could have waited a long time for that.

Let's look at another of my limiting beliefs. "If I stand out, I make others feel bad." What's behind this? In my school days – I don't know how it is today – it often wasn't looked upon favorably if you stood out. Neither by teachers (with few exceptions), nor by classmates. Especially if something came easily, you showed too much enthusiasm for a task, or if you brought up other lines of argument and approaches. Anything that wasn't in the normal, „well-behaved“ middle ground drew negative attention. That's where I learned that if I am completely free to be who I am, it leads to people around me feeling worse because of it AND me facing rejection. To avoid this, I then started suppressing this standing out. So that others wouldn't feel bad because of me.

Limiting beliefs are the seeds for empowering beliefs.

After understanding the purpose of beliefs and where they come from, you can now rewrite your story. Limiting beliefs become empowering affirmations. And this is often not easy at all. What helps me is to imagine what I would say to a best friend if they told me why they have these beliefs. With this small change in perspective, we can often achieve a lot. The process of rephrasing into affirmations is very healing. It doesn't happen overnight either. Rather, it takes a few versions before we can resonate with it. By the way, you can easily check if a phrasing is right: simply read the sentence aloud with conviction. Preferably in front of a mirror.

My limiting beliefs have become the following power statements after this process.

• I do great things for others - I deserve to be successful.
• I MUST not encourage anyone but myself.
• If I come out, I can inspire others if they want me to.
• Not everyone has to like me and what I do. But the right people will.

And I enjoy reading that.

It's possible to have beliefs and not quite understand what's behind them, or to not find the right wording for a positive affirmation. In such cases, it can be helpful to address this topic with support. Sometimes, all it takes is an outside perspective to open our eyes. The beliefs I've listed here as examples weren't solely „invented“ by me. They emerged in my business coaching sessions, and I worked through them with my coach. This feels right to me because it's faster and goes deeper for me.

6. When they leave, our further development begins

Now we have formulated power statements. But, as you may have already guessed, that's not enough to free yourself from limiting beliefs. They may have been with us for our entire lives. They have made themselves quite comfortable in our minds and lives. So, we must find a way to let them go with appreciation. Because only when they leave does our real development begin. The easiest way is an indirect farewell: Expand your new space of possibilities bit by bit with the help of the power statements. Let it grow and let them take up more and more space. And you will see that the limiting beliefs, as soon as they are no longer the center of your attention, will soon bid farewell and leave.

Here's something that works well for me and many of my coaches and training clients: Formulate power statements and place them where you can see and read them frequently. Ideally, place them where you enjoy looking at them as well. You can also draw them artistically, or perhaps you have an image in your mind or a symbol that represents them for you. I have mine hanging above my desk, or next to my screen. Every time I look at my watch, I see these power statements and read through them. This way, they become ingrained, and limiting beliefs are pushed further and further into the background.

Give your affirmations space in your life. Only then can they unfold their power. Don't prune them immediately after you've formulated them. Nurture them, let them grow, and celebrate the new possibilities you find.