Who doesn't know it: We have a goal or a desire, something that is personally really important to us. And in that very moment, alongside the side that wants to give everything to achieve the goal, the side that makes us doubt it also appears. A side that seems less brave or confident and would rather keep everything exactly as it is. Or a side that finds we aren't ready yet and still need to do this and that before we're "allowed" to move forward. Sometimes also a side that directly says it's all nonsense and we can certainly never achieve such wishes and goals, and besides, other people would deserve it much more. (A tip: This usually has something to do with sentences containing "I'd actually like to, but...")

Ambivalences? Keep calm and relax

You are not alone with such doubts and ambivalences. They are completely normal and occur in everyone. Especially when we deal with what is particularly important to us - like heart issues. Now, we could simply listen to what this side tells us. That is, stop pursuing our heart issues, wishes, and dreams. Period. Hmm... but that's not really satisfying. So, what other options are there?

The logical reason behind the emergence of ambivalent sides

First, let's understand what these "sides" want when they express themselves. Because, believe it or not, they have a logical reason for doing so. Behind them are your needs, which are making themselves known, and these "sides" offer a voice for them. As crazy as it may seem, they don't want anything bad for you. Quite the opposite. They show you which of your needs are affected by the decision, where changes might take place, and simultaneously show you what is important to you right now. The thing is, over the course of life, we have often forgotten how to engage in constructive dialogue with these "sides." But that doesn't mean it's impossible.

The SEITEN Model as a Framework for Inner Dialogue

Just because we haven't consciously interacted with different inner aspects for a while doesn't mean it will take us a long time to re-establish that contact. It's a bit like riding a bike or anything else we've learned and can recall at any time. The difficulty here usually lies more in how we should start. It's perhaps a bit like the feeling when we want to get in touch with someone again after a long time of no active contact. Here, the first step seems like climbing a rock face. Until we take it. Then this wall turns out to be an illusion, and it's actually quite easy. Here, the aspect model offers a framework that can make it very easy to re-establish contact with one's own aspects. And thus also to reactivate the dialogue with one's inner voice, one's gut feeling.

And this is how it works

The central be-all and end-all of the side model is to become aware of the respective ambivalent sides. Only then is it possible to explore them curiously and discover what needs lie behind them. To see what experiences they draw upon and what good hint they want to give you by appearing. This means that with the side model, we assume that the sides have a very good reason to appear "in their logic". And that they don't want anything negative. With this attitude, it is possible to understand their "perspective". In this way, we learn something about ourselves and often become aware of things we haven't noticed before. And even better: as soon as we have established this contact, we can influence the relationship with the sides and between the sides. Perhaps it sounds a bit far-fetched. But I guarantee you – if you commit to it – then this method is a way to resolve major blockages. Furthermore, it is a procedure that can be repeated. In this way, personal development and all future developments can also be additionally supported.

Is this method right for me?

If this method is new to you, it's strongly recommended to try it at least once with a hypno-systemic coach. Then you'll know if it works for you, if it feels good, if you felt comfortable, and if you were able to resolve your ambivalences. Generally, it's nothing more than including your unconscious in your ambivalences. In addition to rational considerations, it also involves incorporating your network of experiences. With this method, it almost happens by itself. If you'd like to try something like this, feel free to contact me. I promise you: it's worth it!